birthday
> DATE:07 AUG 2025
"Digital journal, shitposting or weekly crash out post-- whatever they called. This is supposed to be uploaded 1 week ago in July.
One random wednesday night, i laid down on my bed, closed my eyes, trying REALLY hard to sleep (i cant i was wide awake). I was so bored but i hv tried everything already-- read a novel, a manga, listened to a boring ceramah motivasi but i was so awake. Clock struck at 3.46 am, lowkey panicking i need to get up early next day.
Closed my eyes again-- still cannot-- i gave up.
''Alang2 kan, tgok movie je la'', i reached out for my phone, opened gallery, searching for that one movie i have downloaded 2 months ago-- 'All About Lily Chou - Chou (2001)'.
Assuming this was a normal feels-good Japanese teen's coming-of-age movie, based on all of the aesthetic posts i saw on social media-- i was looking forward to it. OH-little did she know that night she was about to experience the most intense feels she ever felt before.
Hopeful, anger, exasperation, sadness, emptiness-- a wave of mixed emotions hit me so hard i think i broke something in my amygdala (? idk brain parts).
I was so angry literally heard smtg berdesing in my head bro like wtf is that movie??? ✦ 10/10 experience ✦ (i'll never rewatch it tho.)
im being dramatic (and im not here to review a movie). The existential crisis hits so hard after the last uni assignment was submitted yet i spend my time with media consumptions. i dont wanna workkkkkkk i wanna keep playinggggg pls let me do it without annoying ass voices screaming 'CARI KERJA CARI KERJA CARI KER--!!!' in my headddd.
i did try to do personal projects to satisfy my self-fullfiment needs.
Happy belated birthday to me btw. yeay yippee whatever~